I find myself pontificating again...
Do you ever ask yourself from time to time, “Who am I?” If your answer is reciting the information from your drivers license, I might tell you to rethink the question. Someone told me when I asked them the question, “I like to shop, boat, be outside and be 100% in a relationship”. Please keep in mind this has nothing to do with the responses of women as I know similar responses have been made by men.
We live in a world where I know a good portion of people define themselves by the car they drive, the house they live in, the hand bags they tote, the designer clothes and shoes they don and anything else in their possession. We all go out on the weekend and have a good time doing whatever it is that makes us happy whether it be shopping, bar hopping, or work on some hobby. The funny thing is none of those things will be brought up at your funeral. Please be clear that I don’t want people to live like peasants but to keep things in perspective. Can leasing the $500/month car/SUV make you happy? Will the 4000 square foot home make you a better person than someone who has 2000 square feet of living space? Does having designer clothes garner respect from your peers? (Please note - by all means wear clothes and don't turn to loin cloths especially this time of year!)
In other cases people use their relationships – specifically romantic - to define themselves and their worth as individuals. It is amazing to me how many people I know that have the same perspective of the woman above who is “100% into her relationships”. There is nothing but their romantic relationship and their job. I don’t mean to be crass but for some I am sure the job is only there to feed themselves. Otherwise they would only have the relationship.
Think about your life as two interlocking circles as pictured on top. Compare that to a relationship and even while you are it think about in terms of your life even if you are not attached right now. The middle section is what you share in the relationship with the other person. Where the circles don’t intersect is you alone and the other circle is your partner. If you are single think about the other circle as your job. Make sure you as a person does not completely cover the other circle. Make sure in anything you do you don’t completely cover it. You have plenty to give and to have it all go to one thing in the end is probably not good.
A person must be continuing to expand their horizons to not only improve their relationships with themselves but with friends, family, or spouse. If new things are not being discovered then life in general will stall and your relationships will not continue to advance.
People should always take inventory in their lives. They should to see where they have been, where they are right now, and where they are traveling to based on their current actions. Even before they do that, they need to continue to ask themselves the tough question like “What is it I want?” and “What can I do?”
Personally speaking I try to “take stock” in my life from time to time. I am not going to sit here and tell you I am living a fully purposed life. I am living a slightly self absorbed life but will admit my life needs a slight change. I am looking into it and now just looking to see what opportunities are available to me.
As you contemplate this more than a mouth full of words, I give you the poem I put into graduation and wedding cards from Ralph Waldo Emerson:
Success
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
1 comment:
No, happiness is not measured by money or things. I was laid off from a job that I was making more money than I am now, and I was in misery because of it. I now have a job where I make half as much, but I am the least stressed and happier than I have been in a long time, because I am enjoying what I do with my time. (obviously this gal has had other moments of unhappiness, but that is life). We are all continuously 'finding ourselves' in every stage of life, and that is what makes it interesting-- The ups and downs and times of realization.
Post a Comment